Everybody who is trying to lose weight usually has a story. A story of how they got fat, what they did wrong or what they didn’t do right. Today I’m going to share my story with you.
I remember always being “bigger” than everyone else my age for as long as my memories go. Well… looking back and seeing old pictures of me being 3–5 years old: that was actually not true. Now I would say I was a normal size and weight for a 5-year-old. But what made me think that I was “big” was the fact that I was called fat, ugly, big etc by the local children I used to play with. I wouldn’t call them friends. Why did they think I was fat? Because they were all really skinny and tall, I was “normal”. But I wasn’t overweight! I used to be sad and cry and felt left out. The way bullies ruin your self-esteem is horrible.
Beginning of schoolyears
At the age of 7 school began. By that age I also wouldn’t say I was fat or overweight but I was definately bigger than those skinny girls in my class. Looking at old class portraits I am the “big girl” but not fat. Still, I was bullied all the time, called fat and ugly and a lot of other bad words by the boys in my class. I remember those weigh and measure days we had at school. The school nurse would measure and weigh us. She told me numerous times I was FAT. Actually I wasn’t back then, I just wasn’t stick-skinny. I was just well developed, by the age of 10 I was already starting to develope a womanly body shape. In my pre-teens I think I gained weight because by the age of 13, I was overweight.
My teen years are the years of all the diets, weight losing and weight gaining. So by the age of 13 I was about 162 cm tall and weighed 72 kilograms: that’s clearly overweight (BMI 27,4). But you have to take into consideration that I was very young and still developing. So it’s kind of debatable if I should have started to mess with my body that early. But I did. My mom joined Weight Watchers and I also started doing the program with her. During that period we also started going swimming twice a week, plus PE classes at school. During about 6 months I lost 8 kilograms and looked decent after that (weight: 64 kg). But I still thought I looked fat.
Somehow I got back to old habits and gained the weight back. From that time on, it was a constant battle. Losing weight, gaining weight… Working out and trying to be “healthy”. During those times I did some Atkins, just tried to cut out sugar and white wheat flour, went back to Weight Watchers’ point counting… I tried it all.
In 2007 I had lost some weight, worked out and weighed 68 kg, I was 167 cm tall. About the same height and weight as right now. I actually thought I was pretty and got some compliments.
By the end of 9th grade (I was 16, it was year 2008) I weighed 72 kilograms. Again. After that time in 10th grade I gained a lot. About 7 kilograms I think. By the end of secondary school (age 19) I was 79 kilograms. In the summer of 2011 before starting university I decided to pick myself up again and start running and watching what I eat. I got injured and couldn’t run after 2 weeks but I continued with my diet plan. I still lost some weight, about 3–4 kilograms. Then university began.
So when university began, I was around 75 kilograms I think. There I didn’t work out at all, only did a lot of walking. Also my eating habits changed, I started eating chocolate, rice, pasta again. My main goal was to live as cheaply as possible (poor student!) and that’s why I ate rice, pasta, potatoes with a little minced meat etc. In the mornings I had porridge with homemade jam. My diet was all high-carb, low-protein, medium-fat. But somehow, I don’t know how, I lost more weight during my first semester at school. Before Christmas 2011 I was 72 kilograms again.
From that point on I was gaining again. In the summer of 2012 I was 79 kilograms. By Christmas 2012 I was about 80–81 kilograms. I gained my last 5 kilograms during 5 weeks of winter break in January 2013. I weighed 85,5 kilograms by mid February 2013.
I had my “click” when I started going to a fitness club in Tartu about a week before starting LCHF because I had done about 3 Zumba classes with my friend back at home and liked them. I was bigger than everybody else at the fitness club classes. Plus, I saw myself in a full-length mirror. (I don’t have full length mirror in my home or in my dorm). I was so frustrated with myself, I was just big and fat. Obese. My clothes were all super tight and it was uncomfortable to sit because of the fat-rolls on my belly. Then my mom heard about LCHF and the new low-carb lifestyle began.
The rest is history! Now I’ve lost 18 kilograms. I’m happy now. I’m starting to look like the person inside me has always wanted to look like. And it can only get better from now on.
What do I have to point out?
I never got fat because of fast food. We don’t even have fast food restaurants in my city.
Junk food and sweets was also not in my menu. Pizza, chips etc: I rarely had that, maybe twice a year. Chocolate more often but not every week / day.
I got fat from simply eating too much. We had regular everyday home-cooked meals like any other family. But I ate way too much. Plus the food was very carby, low on protein.
My family loves baked goods. We baked about 2 times a week. I would have no problem eating 5 cinnamon rolls or even more as dessert. Or 6 homemade minced meat pies for breakfast etc. I could not resist.
My mom and grannies and myself are great cooks. The food is always really really good and tasty. That relates to eating too much.
I was never good at sports, so I avoided exercize. I think that has a great role in gaining weight.
The last 5 kilograms I gained in the beginning of 2013 came from eating all the time, binging, eating out of emotions and just being bored. I just ate all the time. I think 4000 kcal per day was no problem for me. It makes me sad thinking about it.
So that is about it. That is my story of gaining and losing weight, being bullied, feeling low and how I got to where I am today.